A WILDCAT FLASHBACK

FRIDAY AND LONELY I WISH I HAD A HOMIE TO TAKE ME TO A FOOTBALL GAME BUT THAT'S SOUNDS INSANE BECAUSE I'M NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE YES GOD CLOSE THAT DOOR 17 YEARS AGO BUT I DO MISS IT TOUGH EVERY TIME I SSE THE COLORS BLUE AND GOLD IT JUST DOES SOMETHING TO MY SOUL AND RIGHT BACK IN THE HALLS AGAIN WITH MY FRIENDS WONDERING IF I WILL EVER GET ASKED OUT AND WHAT ROUTE TO TAKE TO GET OVER HEARTBREAK AND I MADE IT BUT THOSE MEMORIES HAVE NOT FADED AWAY BECAUSE HERE I AM TODAY TRYING TO SAY WHERE DID THE TIME GO AND OH HOW I MISS IT SO

GOD'S DESIRE

everybody has a date or a mate so it seems and inside scream i want to be a queen but God says i'm already that so i take 6that wish back and fish out another one like being a step mother to a son and God says "It's done and "don't worry about walking because you were meant to run lapse around your mishaps and born to help me bridge the gap from earth to haven with your 24/7 anointing so girl stop pointing and wait your turn and start embracing my heartburn"

MY MORNING REVELATION

i was created to write i was created to fight until i see the light at the end of this earthly tunnel which is my life which is my mission so listen i am here for a short time and so there's no rewind what's done is done so yeah stay focus and don't you run because the best is yet to come yes for you and for me but we must keep moving until we see the fruits of our labor or the promise of our savior

TALKING TO MYSELF (PART 2)

HEY MONIQUE DON'T JUST SIT THERE IN FUNK YEAH GIRL, GET RID OF THAT EMOTIONAL JUNK OUT OF YOU HEART TRUNK BECAUSE IT'S ONLY THERE TO TRY TO CONVINCE YOU THAT LIFE ISN'T FAIR AND THAT PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE IN FACT MANY DO SO NO MORE BOOHOO BECAUSE TEARS LIKE THAT ARE LIKE VOODOO YES SENT TO HARM YOU WHEN YOU ALREADY FEELING BLUE AND IF THEY CAN FINISH YOU OFF,COOL BUT BE A FOOL AND JUST STICK TO THE GOLDEN RULE THUMB UNTIL THE KING COMES TO TAKE YOU HOME BUT REMEMBER YOU ARE BOT ALONE BECAUSE HE IS ON THRONE AND YOU DON'T EVEN NEED A PHONE TO TALK TO HIM OR WORKING FEET TO WALK WITH HIM AND GIRL, THAT'S SO SWEET AND NEAT AT THE SAME TIME JUST LIKE THIS RHYME THAT JUST POPPED IN MY MIND BUT NOW I FEEL FINE ABOUT TALKING TO MYSELF

A LETTER OF BETTER (NOVEMBER 11, 2014)

here i sit trying to fight my depression here i sit trying to learn life lessons and have some discretion but somehow i keep on sharing my confessions about living with cerebral palsy which some might say "that's real ballsy and that's alright because every time write i feel better yeah, it's like i'm writing a letter to myself and if someone else happens to read it... that;s fine because i am honest in every since line even if i am not feeling so kind in my heart and in mind my mission is always to listen to my emotions and let them flow out of me like the sea of Galilee yeah pure beauty for ashes because my sadness just passes away well at least for that day or that moment in time where the sun didn't shine in my mind from feeling left behind but once again i'm fine once i write a line or two and if it also helps you then cool

FROM MY DESK TOP TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP

Day after day i sit at my desk waiting for a reason to confess my mess or my blessings And it does mater to me what comes out of my spirit first, as long as it's not rehearsed. Meaning how i really feel right then, so yes no pretend in sight. Because totally honesty is alright. Now that's not to say that telling the truth will never hurt, but i truly believe that the truth will always work out for my good eventually. Like for instance, when i was 14 years old experience my fist crush ever and since i couldn't verbally talk to him (due to him being so fine in my opinion) I began writing the most heartfelt letters to him. Now my letters didn't move his heart the way hr moved mine, but that honest exchange has frame everything i do today in books. My emotions forces me to take a look at myself in depth. Because once my emotions hit the paper or my computer, I have no but to accept what is there. Now often times i don't like see in front of me But deal with it. Because whatever is on the page is there for a reason. Even though i might only feel like that for season, it is a season that made an imprint on my life in some way. So stay gift. And help me up lift myself as well as others. Because i am lover of words and emotions But more important i am lover of uplifting people. Not putting them on a petrol but to help them feel better enough to go on. Even when when facing a storm. Yes i try to be a friend in my words Yes even through my mess and stress, i try to bless Because it seems like whatever i go through is not for me but you. Yes you out there who is reading this, and who is feeling pissed about whatever is going on wrong in your home (internally speaking) So i siting at my desk day after is not such a bad thing after all.

YESTERDAY'S GOOD NEWS

God i forgot to think you for yesterday because my selfish thoughts got in the way but today i must say that you did pretty okay because you made me smile and you made laugh and you made forget out my past for a little while so i'm so glad to be your child because it could be much worse in fact it has been but being your kin and being your sin even with my sin is still golden and even though your will is still molding me i feel free so thank you Daddy