BREAKOUT STAR

i really wanna yell
but i'm in jail
tonight
yeah i just don't feel right
because i can't take flight
or go to places i like
by myself
but my breath still works
and my heart still hurts
because i'm in here
yeah in this body
in this apartment
and in this garment
of guilt
yeah i wish i was treated like silk
looked at as pretty
not silly
yeah not looked at....
as a burden
stuck behind a curtain
or bars that look like walls
and bathroom stall....
that look like long halls
because i need help to go
oh no
i just told something so true to you
but i don't feel blue
no, in fact i feel very free
yeah listen to me
poetry is the key
that unlocks me
from this wheelchair
i swear

1 P.M.

to openly hold your hand
i don't know if it is God's plan
but i do understand
that it is what i want
yeah even if i don't
get to
be with you
in the blue
sunny sun
yeah because i know that you are the one
yeah not just the one
that i have done some fun stuff with
yeah you lit a switch in me
that oooowee
i wouldn't care if the whole world see
yeah seriously
i am into you
through and through
yeah i wanna bask in your view
like all is new
but also familiar
yeah you are like sliver
yeah raw, fair and strong
yeah right or wrong
you belong
somewhere
in my life
i swear

2 A.M.

i hear thunder and lightening
it's kinda exciting
but i wanna go back to sleep
yeah i wanna go deep
so i can reach for God
in my dreams
yeah if i start to scream
yeah i mean, i want my daddy
that had me
on his mind
a longtime ago
yeah my blood-flow
he so knows
all of my grows
and woes
but i still pose
this question
why such an early lesson?
yeah 2 a.m.
the sky is still dim
and i can't take a midnight swim
because it's to cold
and i'm disable
physically
so Father please help me understand
your insomnia plan
so i can...
go back to sleep
yeah "this sheep" can't count itself

THE REST OF MY YEARS

so as i sit here in this chair
i think about how life isn't fair
but i still care
and will to make things better
yeah in this crazy weather
i will never give up
or just leave it up to luck
no because the Lord knows just where to go
yeah and how to make me grow
beautiful ans patient
yeah wise and ancient
or really old
and more precious than gold
yeah, and that really warms my soul
yeah i feel whole
not being in control
of everything
this is happening
here
yeah even in my tears
of frustration and fears
I trust God with the rest of my years

NOT SO FREAKY FRIDAY

my flesh is so much more than sex
my flesh is so much more than my feelings
dealing with a disability
that is not my fault
yeah my cerebral got caught
in a bag of tricks and treats
yeah some pretty sweet meat
that will bleed for real
if you cut deep
yeah i can't sleep
thinking about that
but i can't take my life back
because Christ picked up my slack
yeah before i was even born
yeah he was fully warm
and ready to perform on the cross
yeah he did it to save the lost
sheep
yeah the weak
yeah the so called freak
that wasn't so neat
and clean
but yet he saw a queen
on a very mean and scary Friday
i must say

OVERSHADOWING

man, sometimes i sob
because i feel like i have robbed
yeah robbed of my rights
and God's light
but guess what?
that's just my natural eyesight
playing a sick joke on me
yeah because God is love
and sees supernaturally better
so no kind of weather
can block his view
of me and you
but to boohoo is fine
yeah get it off your mind
and out of your heart
yeah so doubt cam depart
and your guard
can soften
more often
yeah because once a coffin
is in front
of what we want
it's all over

DEAD ROSES

my flesh loves to yell
so hell, here i come
i can't run from you
yeah even if i wanted to
so what's a girl to do?
sit still?
and do God's Will?
or take a pill
and hope that things will change?
in this place called "my body"
but it not just about being naughty
yeah, it's more about me being human
and me just thinking about doing
something
with someone
whom which
i have done something with
before
but i want more
and that door is close
i suppose?
but my thoughts
are still growing
like a rose
that will pose
at the place
where i will rest
i guess?