AT EASE SISTA SOUJAH

God 

i have 

such a temper 

but please 

hear my whimper 

or 

make my life

simpler 

with no more 

sacrifice 

or 

situations 

that cut 

like a nice 

to the butt 

yeah 

get me out of this 

rant 

get me out of this 

rut

UNREAL BUT I AM STILL... SPIRIT-FILLIED

 my brain 

works 

and my hearts 

hurts 

but  yet and still 

you treat me 

unreal 

now how 

am i 

suppose  to 

take that 

or feel 

other then 

wack 

and like 

God should 

take me back 

from which i came 

which from

his mind fame 

and 

his holy name 

WORD PLAY-DOH

 the world 

say 

that 

even today 

i should be thrown 

away 

yeah, 

discarded clay 

yeah, 

before I'm old 

before I'm grey 

yeah, 

all because of 

my disability

that others 

can physically see 

i can't 

get a lover 

under my cover 

or inside of me 

but Heavenly Daddy 

what does that mean?

yeah, 

especially since you made me 

to be 

a queen 

with

weaker wings 

MY WRITTEN CRY

Mrs. Jonathan ( Gift of God part 2)

 so 

God dropped me 

down here 

on Earth 

yeah, 

that was my birth 

yeah

my blessing 

and my curse 

yeah,

for my betterment 

and for my...

worse 

yeah, 

unrehearsed 

verse by verse 

but what a nurse 

Mrs. Jonathan ( Gift of God )

i  ride 

with a thorn 

in my side

that i wish 

i could hide 

for a kiss 

or 

to be 

a Mrs. Bride 

but damn 

here i am

feeling like 

pressed ham 

on a sandwich 

yeah feeling 

flat, whack 

and damage 

but then 

comes a gust 

of wind 

and 

the fight 

of 

the light 

begin

ADULT

 tongue me down

then sex me up 

yeah 

make me feel 

like a real 

peanut butter cup 

yeah what's up 

yeah 

treat me 

like 

the 90's 

yeah

come and find me 

and make me 

yours 

yeah 

wax my

 floors 

yeah

have me beggin' 

for me 

until we are still 

or sore 

in our core

TEENAGER

God 

do me favor 

make me a teenager 

again

yeah 

so i can 

spend time

 with my friends 

yeah 

ride around

town 

like class clowns 

with no frowns

in sight 

yeah just enjoying 

a Friday night 

and me 

not feeling 

like i have 

a disability 

at all 

but God

it's your call 

yeah 

i just wanna 

experience

this Fall

like 

it's 

my last one 

yeah 

like having fun 

in my past  

MOONLIGHT OVERCAST

so what do u do 

when u r feelin' blue 

u jus' write 

until ur night 

becomes 

a little brighter 

or 

the weights 

feel 

a little lighter 

I'm fighter 

but guess what 

even i get weak 

and hella cranky 

from lack of sleep 

so here comes 

the deep 

depression 

or 

the life 

lesson 

 of my 

sitting and stressing 

about my 

sometimes 

crippled bleeding 

i guess 

THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE LETTER (988)

MAN

i still 

don't understand 

me in wheels 

on this land 

yeah especially 

when my spirit 

says 

i can 

walk 

run 

and stand 

but 

in wheel life 

boohoo

i have never been 

a wife 

yeah 

and that cuts 

like a knife 

to the butt 

that I've never been 

to David's Bridal 

for myself 

yeah

it hurts 

like a death 

because 

i love 

and read 

The Bible 

but still 

i wheel 

and have been 

suicidal 

yeah 

this ride 

has almost 

put me 

to the end 

of 

the other side 

but with 

swallowed pride 

i say

I'm still here 

my dear 

with no wordplay 

and this 

is no suicide 

letter 

yeah 

this is me 

just trying to be 

better 

in this wheelchair 

weather 

WHERE'S THE BREAD?

Money 

why are you

always leaving 

me grieving 

and disbelieving 

yeah 

we are 

supposed to be 

 even Steven 

but instead 

we are 

in the red 

yeah 

almost dead 

yeah 

so where's 

the bread 

that led 

me here 

yeah 

where's the carbs

where's

 the beer 

MAN. I WOULD NOT BE BROKE, IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST BY MY BOOKS

God

i'm so tired 

of being 

wired 

to give 

but not 

having enough 

money 

for me 

to fully 

live 

or 

have fun 

but 

what's done 

is done 

under the sun 

but Father 

please come 

back

and play 

your drum 

or

blow 

your horn 

on this lack salary 

storm 

LORD, I''M SO OVER WITH... BEING OVERDRAWN

God

please explain 

my financial pain 

and then 

take away 

my sad shame 

of 

helping friends 

again and again 

when 

i know 

there's no growth flow 

in my finances though 

but Father 

where do i go from here?

yeah, please make it clear 

to my inner ear 

THE BARE BONES OF FEELING SO ALONE

 I'm gonna 

write tonight 

until 

the will of fright 

is 

out of my sight 

or 

out of my soul 

yeah 

until 
i feel 

that  Jesus

is still  real 

or 

i feel whole 

and in control 

of 

my love 

and situation 

yeah 

despite the 6temptation 

to just

 leave 

this nation 

of 

God's creation

of 

cerebral and people 

yeah 

the real deal 

crossing of steeples 

SOME VERY DEPRESSING WEATHER

 I need a hug 

or a back rub

 to help me deal

 with the way I really feel 

about still

being in this wheelchair 

yeah I swear

 I need someone

 to care

 out there 

or to come here

 and make it

clear 

to me

 why i be

 sitting down

 like a wounded clown

 but can't really 

f r o w n

 because my real- 

self 

will bother 

someone else 

but at least 

I still have breath

 left 

yeah despite 

my lack of peace

and sleepless nights 

6.5 ON THE RICHTER SCALE

good morning, Earth 
quaked 
my birth 
my worth 
my  turf 
but guess \what 
i  still hunger
and thirst
 for your wonder
yeah while i feel 
like
 I'm going 
under 
ground 
hoping to be found 

smiling like a clown  

trying not to drown 

in the depression 

but still learning 

from every single 

missing chingle  

or life lesson

100 BEATS per MINUTE

God 

i'm scared

to close 

my eyes 

because i realize 

that nightmare 

are comin' 

so yeah

tell me somethin' 

why does 

everyone else 

get  to sleep deep 

and still 

have the  will 

of  

their breaths 

yeah  while i 

try 

to stop 

the death 

of myself 

and others 

while also 

wishing 

that i had 

some kissing 

from a lover 

under my cover 

A HEAENILY REQUEST ( NEVERTHELESS)

 hey Sky

i need you to 

open up your view 

and show me 

what is true 

or 

stuck like glue 

your girl

yeah, please 

show me 

what's meant to be 

on my family tree 

in this world 

yeah because 

I'm not feelin' 

the love 

yeah 

this turtledove 

is dealin'

with a lot 

of hurtles 

my insides 

are 

purple 

yeah 

buried 

from 

being used 

and emotionally 

abused 

so yeah 

please send me 

down

some good news 

while I'm still 

around 

these

 earthly grounds 

MY "D"ROWN-ING SOUL

Lord 

here comes 

another wave 

yeah 

please don't let 

my insides

freeze

or 

get wet 

yeah Yeshua 

throw out your net 

before the sun sets 

and save me 

yeah 

i wanna be 

in a grave 

like slave 

yeah 

i want my feet 

to walk on the street 

where it's paved  

in gold 

yeah Father

please rescue 

your daughter 

who feels 

like she's in 

a real NICU

soul

DIS-TORT-ED DREAM

God

i just wanna be 

heard 

yeah 

every single word 

and God

i just wanna  be 

felt 

yeah 

i want others 

to feel 

what it is 

like 

for  me 

to deal

with 

being

 in wheels

and still try 

to find 

some zeal  

and peace 

of mind 

and i 

wannabe 

seen 

but not 

as a 

distorted

dream 

but as 

some cream 

of 

the crop 

tha won't 

stop 

or be

passed up 

AT THE EXPENSE of ESTHER

GOD 

i don't understand 

why my be funny 

yeah especially 

when i thought 

i was...

 your hunny bunny

but instead 

my bread 

and my eyes 

are a little runny 

but God, 

you know me 

so show me 

what to do 

yeah 

to be 

green and clean 

like you 

yeah 

and nor red 

or dead 

or 

feelin' blue  

SACRIFICE 101

Father 

i wanna 

proper 

yeah 

i wanna 

be 

apart 

of 

roster 

of righteous 

men 

yeah again 

and again 

with

no sin 

yeah 

so let's 

begin 

before 

I'm taken 

into 

the wind 

yeah 

Heaven

24/7

yeah like 

Earth 

is 

supposed 

to be 

for me 

but 

instead  

i feel 

as though 

I'm just...

breathing 

slow 

while 

searching 

for dough 

yeah 

the bread of life 

or 

the head of Christ

yeah 

the savior of...

 sacrifice 

THE LIFE and X's of POETRY and RHYMES

 Father

is

my ride 

on earth 

more than 

my tithe 

since birth 

yeah 

even before 

i know 

you 

or 

your worth 

or learned 

from heartburn 

or to 

put

 you 

first 

verse by verse 

or  

word by word 

I'm just 

an active 

little bird

you heard  

INNER-VOICE MACHINE

cerebral palsy 

you don't belong 

in my fleshly walls 

or 

my human paws 

so 

quit 

with this sh*t

of 

making me...

emotionally

 sick

in this...

earthly pit 

of hell

yeah 

while 

I'm tryin'

to be 

a Godly child 

that smiles 

and do 

well 

by you 

and 

you know who

so why 

should i 

still, cry?

yes father 

please give me 

a reply 

GOD PLEASE, MAKE ME, A TURN-KEY TEMPLE

Father

help me 

empty

out

the cerebral palsy 

in me

yeah, please 

gimme 

the keys 

yeah, please 

put me 

at ease 

or 

squeeze 

this situation 

out 

of 

my knees 

yeah

gimme 

the divine degrees 

or 

the subline shine 

yeah

put me 

on a incline 

CLOCK THAT TEA

so here i be 
with c.p,
in the p.m. 
tryin' not in swim 
in the  dim 
of 
depression 
 but life 
is such a hard 
lessen 
to learn
on every turn 
or heartburn 
yeah in every stern 
situation 
but man 
i still 
apart
of God 
will plan 
yeah wow
i am 
his child 
yeah 
his creation 
for miles 
and miles
so smile
and 
clock

 that tea

do u hear me?

SO THIS IS M,E: TRYING TO FIND... A MEETING OF THE MINDS

 MAN

all i see 

is me 

and 

my disability 

but 

that shouldn't be 

because 

i''m loved 

and

 apart of 

God's 

family tree 

obviously 

yeah but this is 

my try 

before i die 

to understand 

THE PLAN 

for my left hand

on this land 

where i can't stand 

alone 

man,

and 

that feels 

wheel wrong 

BUT 

GUESS WHAT?

i must 

trust 

and 

still, go on 

letter by letter 

yeah

putting words 

and emotions 

together 

like leather 

and pants 

yeah 

a poetic dance 

but not by chance 

no, 

by the design 

of 

the divine 

and 

the meeting of the minds 

 

SO WHO R U WAVING AT? (WITH NO TAKE BACKS)

oh man 

how i wish 

that i could 

just kiss 

cerebral palsy 

goodbye 

for good 

why

because 

it really 

makes me 

inner cry 

yeah 

no lie 

or else 

let my breath 

die 

with no reply 

MY PICTURE of A PERFECT DAY (40 DAYS STRAIGHT)

no worries 

no hurries 

no emotional

 snow furries  

to get in 

my way 

yeah

this is  

my picture 

of 

a

perfect day 

so hey 

God

what do u 

say 

can i 

have it

yeah 

can i 

grab it 

yeah

can i 

smile 

for a little while 

like child 

who has being 

walking 

for miles and miles 

and through 

many trails 

yeah Father 

can your daughter 

just laugh 

on your behalf 

yeah 

that would be 

great 

yeah 

for at least 

40 days straight 

CEREBRAL COLLEGE???

Father
do i 
have to die 
to find out why 
i have to 
live life 
as a physical 
sacrifice 
on wheels 
well, if 
so 
no 
i don't wanna  
have to 
go
or feel 
the still 
of my blood flow 
Yesh 
just to grow 
mo' knowledge 
of 
this cerebral college 

SOME SINFUL THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY NIGHT

hey

let's get nude 

have some food 

and then 

my friend 

get in 

some

 sexual sin  

yeah 

i don't mean 

to be 

crude 

but

I'm in 

that type of 

mood  tonight 

yeah 

the bible says:

that it ain't right 

but 

guess what?

my flesh 

still likes...

mess

and still

has real 

feels 

and 

eyesight 

 

HEY, BEING YOU, IS A REALLY GOOD THING. ( SO GO AHEAD AND FLAP YOUR WINGS )

MAN

life can be 

a bitch 

bur whatever 

you do 

or whatever 

happens to you 

don't you 

code switch,

Boo

yeah be honest 

be true 

yeah 

be sunny 

be blue 

or don't 

be afraid 

to turn 

the page 

and try 

something new 

before you 

die 

to the sky 

 

TENFOLD UNFOLDING

MAN

wheeling through life 

and believing in Christ 

has it's blessings 

in the stressing 

and the sacrifices 

in the life lessons 

MAN 

that's deep 

not to sleep 

yeah 

feeling strong 

and feeling weak 

keeps me searching 

through the hurtin' 

BUT

Guess what?

my wounds 

are not 

in the tomb

no

they are so 

workin' 

MOURNING 16425

God, i still can't walk 

on my own 

is that right?

is that wrong?

Lord, i long 

to hear your tone 

yeah, long to hear your voice 

over the noise 

of obviously 

your choice 

on how

 I'm supposed

to live 

sitting & sensitive 

But God 

somethings 

gotta give 

before 

i die 

and why?

because 

My love 

i hate 

this physical state 

and it's so hard 

to hear...

my spirit 

cry 

and to let 

my wet

 guard

 down 

yeah 

on this 

earthly ground 

yeah 

straight tears 

of

a cripple crown 

THE CUMMING ATTRCTION

 MAN

i asking 

to be

somebody's 

cumming 

attraction 

yeah 

no laughing

what's happenin' 

i wanna be  

in paradise 

yeah 

maybe 

once 

twice 

or thrice 

in my like 

yeah 

i really 

wanna 

feel 

my pulse 

for real 

yeah 

with 

every 

jolt 

or 

every 

thill 

yeah

a long 

to be 

somebody's 

meal

ROMANTICALY LOVED (BACKWARDS)

yeah 

i can't lie 

before i die 

i wanna see 

what

it is like 

to be 

romanticly loved 

back 

yeah it's  

a fact 

that 

my track 

record 

lacks 

someone 

returning 

the  burning 

or 

the yearning 

that i have 

for them 

back for me 

so i swim 

in the dim

sadly 

and madly 

hoping to be 

catch

or \fetched 

by a fella 

who loves...

fish 

like this 

yeah 

or else 

upon losing 

my breath 

i will be 

still

pissed

if 

a romantic love 

doesn't exist 

for me 

yeah 

before 

Heaven opens  

the door 

or 

doves 

are 

released 

yeah 

as a sign 

of 

PEACE