sadly
i'm not
human
in a body
yeah
this world
sees this girl
as ruin
and that
makes me
feel
real pissed
yeah
because
it's not
my fault
that i got
caught
or
even
exist
yeah
; let along
have
cerebral palsy
like
this
but still
with my wheels
i should
get some trills
yeah, such as
a kiss
OR WOW
be a Mrs.
by now
YEAH CHILD
even with all things
considered
ME O ME O MY
i feel
like a real
fruit fly
just passing by
yes
i am
blessed
but i
feel like
a pest
yeah
just making
a mess
and causing
stress
but nevertheless
I'm here
yeah
for reasons
still unclear
my dear
but GOD
made me
with no fear
yeah
that's why
I'm laying
praying
and staying
guess what
MAN
my situation
is somewhat
scary
yeah
like Mary
the mother
to her spiritual brother
yeah
the undercover
bible
yeah before
the first
birth
and
the second arrival
yeah
no American idol
just pure favor
from a sinless
Savior
MAN
all see
is
hustle
in front
of
what i want
yeah in bold
font
or so
it seems
yeah Yeshua
should i even have?
dreams
of a queen
or
adorn
by a king
with human wings
yeah
that can do
extraordinary things
yeah Father
please bring
your daughter
closer to you
yeah, please
help me
move
through
MAN
i'm still
in this wheel-
chair
yeah life
for me
still doesn't
seem fair
but God is here
somewhere
yeah,
taking care
of
my needs
at a slow speed
yeah
so much so
i feel as though
i must
let go
of greed
yeah
i must trust
and bleed
internally
yeah
by
totally
forgetting
about me
and
the dismissal
of
this nuclear missile
in my side
but still
i ride
HEY
i was made
yeah, in color
not fade
yeah, when
Goliah
was slade
in the shade
my friend
yeah,
after
some laughter
and some sin
my breath
begin
wondering
in a womb
not
a tomb
yeah
no doom
or gloom
Nah, just on some
soon and very soon
we are going
to see
the king
in me
dream
inspired by my life and GENESIS 1
GOD
you know i wanna know
how everything works
and the real meaning
for all my hurts
yeah, please
gimme
the tea
please gimme
the dirt
yeah
before
i
die
or
cry
and
go
berserk
over my life
over the bible
or Christ second...
arrival
or
revival
but
you know what?
you be the judge
yeah
you make
the call
Mr, Know It All
God
please
take away
my human desire
yeah
set it on fire
or whatever is
required
today
yeah, please
make in
to new clay
or
just tell me
as you
weld me
what you want me to...
do
or say
okay?
or amen
yeah,
Sign me up
for the best plan
inspired by my life and Romans 9
oh boy
how i wonder
Father Thunder
what it would be like
to walk
or
to ride a bike
with no other
human help
yeah oh how
i would whelp
in-depth
yeah, no more
quiet as it's kept
no,
i would
shout it
from the rooftop
yeah,
none stop
like a clock
on a wall
yeah and
i would
run down a hall
yeah, no
trips
no falls
at all
understood?
but only
for the greater
good
God
please
use
your
fishing rod
to catch me
and blessing
not stress me
out of the water
yeah please,
protect
your daughter
or
let ,me go
wet again
yeah
in my mom's belly
yeah
in the bloody jelly
away from
sin
and suffering
i went
from
empty
to plenty
in less than an hour
yes,
i got blessed
God showed
his power
yeah
like a hot shower
on a cold day
yeah
God made
away
out of
a blank slate
so
my suggesting
to you
is to
watch and wait
for God
to come through
with the old
or the new
MAN
fallin; in
love
with a friend
has always
sucked
for me
and why?
no guy
i cry
because
of
cerebral palsy
yeah it scares
them
away
obviously
yeah
that's all
they can see
but
guess what?
i have
so much
more
in my -
cove
but
love is war
comes thunder
now sadly
because of
my disability
barely recognize
my humanity
or
my womanhood
or
the fact that
i can still
do
real good
in someone's life
yeah
be a wife
and help
the hood
yeah
knock on wood
like Jesus stood
to help the lost
at any cost
and wasn't
embarrassed
to wept
like a boos
with skin
so soft +-q
man
i wish
that i was
kissing
and dating
but
instead
i sleep
in a single-bed
week after week
self-deprecation
waiting for someone
to care
and to play
in my hair
yeah
someone
to love me
hug me
and think
a lifetime
of me
yeah
someone to
last name me
and
claim me
MANE
it's insane
how inhumane
some people
treat me
because
of
my
physical frame
yeah
that is
the real pain
i live
yeah
people
not being
sensitive
to my
sit-u-a-tion
on this nation
yeah
thinking that
I am
my own
creation
but never
would have
ever
put
cerebral
and palsy
together
nu not
in my wildest
dreams
would I have
ask for
a thousand screams
or
more
and
a million tears
over
46
years
but
listen here
my dear
you have
nothing
to fear
I'm human
not ruin
MANE
i can't even blame
my frame
or
put my
current pain
on JESUS NAME
naw y'all
because
sadly
I'm the reason
for my
downfall season
yeah
because
i have thought people
how to treat me
and
now
WOW
they know how
to hurt me
and dessert me
so easy peasy
be breezy
God
if life was fair
i woudn't feel a need
to compare
am i fat?
and will a guy
ever like me
like this
or
like thst
now i knoe
this wotds
yeah verses and verbs
might sound
whack
but i can't
take a break
or take them
yeah that is
my sad truth
and
my frustrating
fact
man
my feeling
are always
outside
of myself
but never
too far
for the north star
yeah GOD
to breathe
his breath
on me
or tug
on my sleeve
yes, i do believe
that is
something
here and there
and everywhere
Lord Rsbbi
my 3rd eye
also wants
to know
how my
love life
is
gonna go
will i be a wife
or
will singleness
always haunt me
life a knife
in the night
but please
Father
for your daughter
shed some light
God
my 3rf eye
does wonder why
young people die
yeah even
younger
than i
yeah, please
Rabbi
gimme
a reply
as i cry
and try
to understand
your plan
for
the human hands
and footprints
on this land
of
i can stand
for something
or
fall for anything
so please help
your princess queen
MAN
when i had to
i use to love to
go to school
yeah
i thought
it was cool
i thought
it was
safe
but now
days
WOW
a child
has to suppress
or
mask a smile
or
worry
about being
in a hurry
to not
get grazed
or
killed
for real
i wish
that
time
would
rewind
to a time
when
you didn't
have to
worry
about
hearing
a friend
cry out
because
they ran
into
someone
they thought
they knew
who didn't
feel
apart of
a crew
or
who was
only seen
in the...
rearview
and now
WOW
BOOHOO
do u care
that i'm aware
of
what's
goin' on
yeah
do u care
that i so know
right from wrong
yeah
the notes
to a song
or
the sound
from a gong
God's goal
is to show you
that i have...
a soul
and a heart
that isn't cold
like a mold
in the refrrigiter
yeah i belong
so strong
on
this earth equator
i have no words
but that's okay
because God made a way
so i have something
to say
or
something to write
into the grey clay
or
the red cement
so yeah
just so know
with or without
a glow
time well spent
so far
yeah verses and bars
MAN
i think
i need another drink
of you
yeah because you
drown
the sounds
of tomorrow
and make
my dreams
come true
yeah
no blue
in my heart
yeah
please
don't stop
or
call the cops
just gimme
what i want
on the rocks
MAM
i wish i a cocktail
yeah, to me feel better
than well
and make me tell
all the secrets
from head to toe
and make me feel
really beautiful
you know
internally
yeah use
the passkey
to unlock
me
mmm juicy
and sour
with so much
power
for hours and hours
i need a shower
to wash off
whatever
soft flavor
that was
because
i can't
go to work
tipsy
or
hurt
MAN
every time
i try
to be
great
i get
a toothache
but wait
Father God,
what is this state?
of mind
or what am i?
leaving behind
as i grind
to find
some kind of
wonderful
world
but not
necessarily
the diamonds
or
the pearly
of
wisdom
i
speak
my grief
hoping
that
i
get some
relief
or
find
some peace
of mind
yeah
while
i still have
time
child
yeah
i wanna smile
i wanna grin
and laugh loud
with fsmily
and friends
yeah
having
wisdom
is not
a sin
so let's
begin
ANGER
i sure wish
you were
a stranger
yeah
because
all i see
is
danger
if you ever
come out
of
me
oh we
yeah baby
it won't be
good
understood?
because
you are not
my friend
when other
peoples'
words
love to
fly
out of the mouths
from north to south
like birds
God
i already
deal
with
the wheel
and your added plan
which i don't want
or
even understand
is
for me
to be
put
down
yeah
to feel
lower than the ground
you made?
yeah when i supposed to feel
like a friend
to You
The Ace of Spades
Yes Lord, please
make it make sense
yeah because
My Love
spoken words
was not
meant
to be
an accident
Right?
God
do u know
what i hate?
yeah, every time
i try
to be
great
people can't wait
to deflate
me
yeah and honestly
that hurts
because oftentimes
i trying to let
my light
shine
and do your work
but i still
get wheeled
into the dirt
and called
out of my name
yeah, like it's
a game
BUT
Guess what?
some words
don't fly
like birds
and cause
pain and shame
and tears
that can last
for years
and years
please switch gears
or
get out here
my dear
yeah, because
my love
what is
said
will never be
fully dead
MAN
people act as though
i don't know
and then God
still wants me
to go
with the flow
of my life
but palsy is
no paradise
and some people
yeah even those
who say
they believe
in the steeple
are not so nice
yeah
they love
to slice me
but God
keeps on waking me up
and pray for good luck
on a daily
but some people
are just hurtful
and crazy
but only
my limbs
are lazy
not my cerebral
girl
i wish
could
put my fist
through a wall
or god
would
let you call
me
this fall
or
erase your death
and give your breath
but instead
my eyes
are red
and my
fingertips
are sore
yeah writing about
how you
won't walk through
my door
anymore
yeah when
love and hate
hits the floor
and punches you
right in your core
i'm no Dr. Seuss
no, i'm just proof
that God
sill exist
in a sit-u-a-tion
yeah even though
I'm so
wheely pissed
at this
palsy thing
but the pendulum
still, swings
for this queen
of The Nile
or
this Godly Child
that wishes
that she could
walk a mile
in her own shoes
yeah, while kissing
someone
with a smile
and listen to
some gospel-blues
DAMN
i am
an inmate
yeah, waiting
to escape
this bellyache
of
cerebral palsy
yeah i dream
to do more
then just scream
at some barred
doors
or
doing creative chores
with no snore
yeah what a bore
to my core
yeah Father
let your daughter
soar
instead of sit
my love
inspired by my life, Apostle Paul, and Silas
listen
Hun
i run
from
the truth
or
poetically disguise
the proof
i have
in my tears
or
in my laugh
well maybe can, Man
on God's behalf
MAN
just once
can i
feel
like a real...
dunce
yeah
only look at
as
a physical disable
font
that no one
seems
to
romantically
want
or
let along need
in their life
yeah
sadly
no sugar
or spice
or butterscotch
to warm
up
their cold
spots
in a storm
yeah Lord,
i don't mean
any harm
but
I'm not
writing
this poem
to excite
my boredom
no
i dream
to scream
about all things
considered
as
the cream
of
the top
yeah before
love & war
or
my heart
stops
i have to
write
before
the moon
comes out
tonight
or before
my mind
gives me
a fright
that i
don't want
or even
like
but please
pass the mic
so i can try
to speak
freely and deep
yeah before
mo' goes
to sleep
now
or wow
for good
MAN
unfortunately
no one
is checkin'
for me
yeah
here i sit
in a pit
SH*T
feelin' so...
lonely
yeah i wanna...
homie lover friend
yeah
no pretend
come over
come on in
and be more
then just
somewhere to rest
or my friend
yeah let's blend
our souls
or our human molds
and lose control
of
our love and flesh
and be forever blessed
with a baby, Baby
now
suppose
i was naked
yeah with no clothes on
and nothing was wrong
yeah, not even a song
yeah, wouldn't you like to belong?
there
yeah, feeling nothing
but clear air
on your bare
skin
yeah the wind
is
your closest
friend
yeah no need
to pretend
or wear
a fake grin
to cover up sin
or to make amends
yeah because
walking in love
always wins
God
why can't i
even try
to live
in a hallmark
movie
yeah, please
give a chance
have a small-town neighborhood
romance
yeah fo' real fo' real
yeah, despite
my wheels
yeah because
i still desire
feels
yeah a.k.a.
love
today
yeah my heart is
gray
but it's so ready
to go steady
and push
play
okay
y'all what
watchin' soap opera
so young
really messed me up
yeah wantin' to fall in love
and see wedding doves
and f^^^king with no glove
seemed like a dream
that could come true
but ooh
here i am
damn
still waitin'
in her wheelchair
and intisapaiting
a guy
whose swag is
so fly
with caramel skin
and good hair
that wouldn't care
or stare
or wonder
what put here
like this
no, he would just so
gimme a kiss
and you know
that i would so
be in....
baby girl bliss
i lust
i trust
i dream about
us
and my heart
get crushed
in the process
but
i am
still real
blessed
i guess
just
not
in the area
of
my posterior
GIRL,
i didn't stumble i
into humble
i was born this way
yeah, when Christ
allowed
his child
to stricken
with the lack of kickin'
and people happily
pickin'
at me
yeah makin' me
sappy
longing for
a pappy
yeah some protection
and affection
yeah,
in this wheely
life lesson
of stressin'
about if
\someone
that is sent
to give me a lift
will certainly
shift
and leave me
mystified
i remember
your life
and i remember
the day
and the way
you went to paradise
and it wasn't so nice
but no second chance
at rolling the dice
or tasting the sweet spice
which was
your spirit
and oh boy
how i wish
that i could give you a kiss
and i could hear it
exist
on Earth
yeah,
i hunger
and thirst
for another birth
yeah, another resurrection
of affection
MAN
sadly
Aunt Jessie
didn't get to see
me
become a TT
up close
and boy
how i would love
to share that joy
with her the most
but not to boast
but to share
and to care
for mine
and just to remember
all of the tender
times
when all was
fine
and the sun shined
own face
and in the sky
but Father,
why oh why?
did she have to die?
and make my heartbreak
and my eyes...
cry
yeah Lord,
can i get a reply?
does Heaven have a California 24/7?
man
so close
but just
so far
i wish
that i could
just drive away
in a car
until
my wills
make good
yeah until
my money
is no longer
acting funny
like a bunny
in cartoon
yeah banks
gimme rank
or make room
in your shark tank
store
yeah gimme more
gimme more
MAN
my heart
doesn't like
the dark
yeah it's always
searching for
that spark
of light
yeah especially
at night
yeah when
things
feel a little off
and not so soft
yeah when
i feel
a little lost
in the still
mill
of
my mind
yeah where i long
to sleep deep and well
and fine
yeah with
no breath
left behind
Lord
what's in a dream?
yeah, what's in the violent?
and the silent screams
night after night
yeah, it just doesn't seem right
to have so much fright
yeah, when i so believe
in THE LIGHT
and all of its might
so yeah, i be like
where did that...
vision come from
now, you know
i walk slow
and i can't ...
even run
and i feel real
dumb
that i can't
figure
these inner shouts
out
MAN
sometimes
i feel
really bound
like a clown
in the circus
but God says
i have purpose
yeah, I'm not
worthless
like the world ...
said
yeah, just because
i can't get myself
out of bed
yeah, i still have
breath left
yeah, I'm not
dead
yeah. my blood is....
still red
and still moves with will
like a flood
or grows
like a rose
i suppose
but only God
knows
man
i dream
so big
that my thought
often get caught
or break
like twigs
on a tree
yeah, can you see?
little oh me
just laying
on the ground
feeling lost
and hoping
to be found
fruitful
and multiplying
before her dying
MAN
in my head
i can
get myself
out of bed
yeah really move
my legs
open or close
i suppose
but only God
really knows
and that blows
because
i think
i too
deserve love
with you
boo
but you have
given your breath
to someone
yeah
why
i
sit here
almost in tears
by myself
tryin' to okay
with being
in this disabled clay
and
gettin' left behind
MAN
sadly
suicide
has been apart
of
this earthly ride
and
the human heart
almost since
the first offence
yeah Cain slaying Abel
was no accident
yeah and, never was
Eve
being
deceived
by a snake
yeah
the first mental break
in the lake
of the Lord
and sadly
we all had to come aboard
like a hoarder
or
did we?
oooh wee
nooo
don't let go
of your breath
yeah please
No self-death
TT NIQUE NIQUE
is the sweetest
title
i have
yeah,
it makes me
proud
yeah, it makes me
laugh
and grasp
my peace
in disbelief
yeah,
after having
many moments
of
grief
or
many years
of
tears
yeah
due to the blue
of
this lame frame
of
mostly emotional pain
yeah
of
people
making me feel
really ashamed
of
being born
with Cerebral Palsy
but then
the wind
shifts
and blesses
me
with gifts
yeah,
a. k.a.
let's play
today
nieces and nephews
Lord
all i want
is
what you do
yeah
to be honest
to be true
yeah
if you have to
do something new
that's cool
just don't
let me feel
like a real
or allow others
to just be
cruel
to me
or
my inner body
but if
i have to
make a shift
please don't make me
fall or drift
God loves women
how do i know so
because we are
living
in
thanksgiving
yeah from me
way back to Eve
we breathe
with a bloody sleeve
and womb
that is
so in tune
with a balloon
of
trumpets
yeah,
with God
just sitting back
feasting on
truth and fact
or tea and crumpets
so yeah,
Bottomline
we are all...
fine like wine
yeah,
because
we were all
lovingly made
by the///
Ace of Spades
or the ...
Great Divine
Father.
please
give me
another year
to stay here
with no tears
and no fears
yeah Pappy
please let me
be happy
for more than
just a day
yeah before
my breath is...
taken away
yes Lord,
this i pray
in your name
okay?
so what will i write
in the new year
will i still
fuss and fight
with my inner tears
over sleepless nights
or will i fly
a kite
and go to
higher heights
or to the mighty lights
yeah where streets
are sweet and gold
and the bible is
taught but
never sold
so I've been
45
for a year now
wow, i say
with a smirky wordplay smile
yeah, i have class
i have style
for another lap
or for...
another mile
or another year
but Jesus take the wheel
and steer
hey
did u know
that even dogs
get treat
better than me
yeah, this i see
or
have seen
yeah.
this is not
just rhyme time
or a dream
yeah, and so
I SCREAM
because I'm not...
just a thing
no,
I'm a human being
yeah
with skin
not fur
but BURRR
this world is so cold
to my cerebral palsy soul
Lord,
i didn't ask for this
yeah, I'm really pissed
that i still exist
in this body
yeah, because
no one loves
me
romantically
or
understands
why am I wheely on this land
limp
yeah
and
on top of that
they treat me...
whack
yeah, sad facts
like a simp
but I'm smart
and I have a heart
and sometimes
i fart
because i'm human
not ruin
but guess what?
my sit-u-a-tion
does suck
i'm 45
i'm still alive
but man
people still
don't understand
me
yeah
they think
i wanna be
sitting down
on earthly ground
yeah
instead of
walking dead
or
putting myself
in my bed
or
being able to
wipe my own ass
but this too
shall pass
yeah
like my hourglass
yeah
free at last
having a blast
on foot
yeah y'all
look
no chair
and...
I'm goin' somewhere
Daughter
what if
i don't shift
your situation
or stop the rain
or pause
the pain
that has fallen
on your calling
on this nation
yeah, minus
the temptation
will still?
serve Me
yeah
even if
you don't feel
real
worthy
of
my Word
yeah,
my little psalm bird
i'm seen as...
less than
so i don't have...
a man
and y'all just
don't understand
how much
obviously
God's plan
wheely hurts me
yeah.
it works...
my nerves
yeah,
what did i do?
to deserve this
yeah,
i feel as though...
i don't exist
but yet and still
i feel really wheely
pissed
sadly
many people see
me
as
crumbs
yeah but
it's
only because
of
my lame frame
yeah
what a damn shame
that i
no matter
how i try
or cry
i still
can't get
no romantic love
yeah
all because
of
my wheels
i hurt
i work
i feel
like real dirt
but that doesn't seem
enough for my dreams
to SCREAM
here i am
or
here i go
yeah
from head
to toe
NO
but
guess what?
i still,
wheel
flow
or
grow
like a water
lily
yeah
pretty
and
silly
source
power
for hours
upon hours
now
what was that call?
really about
yeah Lord
I'm trying
to figure
it out
yeah
what so much
pain, shame, and doubt
yeah, Father
your daughter
is feeling
like a trout fish
out of water
yeah feeling
pissed
and dismissed
yeah
where's the love?
where's the bliss
yeah
where's the answer?
for all of this
internal
MAN
i swear
i'm still
trying to
get my wheel-
chair
to just go
SOMEWHERE
yeah,
out of y'all's
View
yeah,
try something
new
yeah, like
just start
walking
by myself
out the blue
ooohoo
i hope
that
this dream
come true
America
i still love you
yeah, regardless
of
what you've
put me through
yeah, i still see
the beauty
in the bruise
and the fake news
yeah because
God still loves
to use
everything
yeah,
even the swings
yeah,
ba boom ba bings
yeah smile
kings and queens
God has
my vote
God has
my hope
yeah, God has
my heart
hanging
on a cross
with the other lost
and Him
yeah, so let's
swim
into the dim
of
the brim's bright light
yeah.
into the day
and
into the night
alright?
can you hear
my spirit
yelling
and wondering
if
I'm failing
in this
C.P.-Melan
skin
yeah when
i really can't
pretend
or
fake a grin
anymore
yeah
i wanna soar
through many doors
but on foot
yeah
i don't like
all of
these days
and nights
staying put
Father
am i
movin'
in the right direction
'cause all i see
in front of me
is
rejection
and
restriction
now listen
i am
payin' attention
but
you didn't
mention
all of
the twists and turns
and the...
burnin' rubber heartburn
MAN
death
and breath
are always
on my mind
yeah so I grief
'cause i don't wanna leave
nothing behind
for a thief
to find
anytime
so yeah,
i stay on my grind
until
my insides
are quiet
or still
i wanna be
bigger than life
but never
bigger than
Christ
yeah.
i wanna walk
on frozen ice
yeah,
down here
and in
paradise
yeah,
no palsy
would be nice
yeah,
like apple spice
on a cold day
yeah. i wanna run
yeah, i wanna
play
yeah, until
my body is still
and \grey
okay?
MAN
i didn't have a choice
in my disabled voice
but
here it is
or
hear it is
busy as a bee
on a computer key -
pad
trying not to sound
bad
or
sad
yeah even if
i can't shift
what i had
with my deceased dad
yeah
my moods can get real mad
and feelings
can be some real rude...
food
to me
but honesty
as y'all can clearly hear
and ser
my pain
and shame
produces poetry
our last name is...
God
our claim to fame
is..
God
yeah,
based on
what i have read
and what i have been
feed
about the blood
that Jesus shed
from feet
to head
we are not...
dead
and
we are all
Gods
instead
inspired by Mike Todd's sermon and my own personal life study
