my flesh
is not
a mess
just because
i wanna flex
i wanna sex
i wanna love
no
it's a mess
'cause i guess
whenever i do
get a boo
yeah
my dream
come true
oooo
i care
if he grabs
my hair
in sin
yeah
before
our marriage
begin
my flesh
is not
a mess
just because
i wanna flex
i wanna sex
i wanna love
no
it's a mess
'cause i guess
whenever i do
get a boo
yeah
my dream
come true
oooo
i care
if he grabs
my hair
in sin
yeah
before
our marriage
begin
God
you may have given me breath
but i did this to myself
yeah
taught people
how to treat me
and then
to hurt me deeply
without a try
and without
a decent alibi
or
a good lie
and when
my so-called
friend
make me cry
why
do i
always seem
to dismiss
my dreams
and quiet
my screams
and let them
off the hook
and i just go
write another book
LORD
sometimes
it seems
that my dreams
don't matter
and so
my heart beats
and shatters
while praying
for the latter
or
my happily ever
after
yeah
with joy
and laughter
yeah
before i die
or
cry
another single tear
on Earth
yeah i want
these words
to be heard
like bird
worth the wait
of
my fate
or
me
standing
in front of
Heaven's gate
inspired by my life Psalm 56:8. Luke 6:21
MAN
my desires
are on
fire
yeah
my dreams
are
screaming so loud
that it is
starting to
cloud my judgment
about what was
and what wasn't
BUT GOD
doesn't
take it away
yeah,
no matter how much
i pray
my desire
to perspire
stays
like glaze
on a cake
but i
can't even
get a date
let alone
a mate
i woke up alone
again
Lord,
when will
this pain
end
yeah,
i don't wanna
sin
but i can't
pretend
any longer
yeah
this desire
is gettin'
strong
yeah
wantin'
to be
in a relationship
is
a total trip
but boy oh boy
how i wanna slip
and take
yeah
even if
i die
of heartbreak
i wish
i could
be with you
for good
again
yeah i wish
that we
could be
more than
friends
oh, why?
did you & i end
yeah,
i wonder
as i go under
my feelings
yeah,
dealing with
what I'm...
dealing with
but there seems
to be
no off-switch
to my dreams
and oh
how i wish
that i didn't
have to
write this
yeah
that i could
live-out
the life
i see
as paradise
to me
yeah
my Earth's Eternity
okay maybe
i wasn't meant
to be
somebody's
lady
or
to have someone's
baby
but why?
yeah, as i cry
myself
to sleep at night
with no one
to hold me
tight
yeah snd
it's all because
of
my handicap sight
that i
can't even
get a try
at romantic love
MAN
GOD'S PLAN
HURTS
LIKE A METAL
GLOVE
God
are you waiting?
for my body
to die
to still me
why
i was
or am
single
DAMN
yeah feelin'
closed off
like a clam
in the sea
yeah with
no one
to mate
with me
or
choose
to uses
me
as
a thing of beauty
around their neck
yeah
neglect neglect
that's
how i feel
for real
being still
single
with tingle
and strong desire
to not be
alone
and to mingle
yeah
at age 45
I'm still
alive
but
no one
seems
to wanna drive
man
God made me
to be
in this body
yeah
for good
and not for naughty
but
i still yearn
to be somebody's
heartburn
yeah
a hottie
with
a Tottie
or
some tongue
with
rum
yeah
who wants
to
feel
on my
bum
for real
and
wants to
stay
for the sunny
and the grey
inspired by my life and psalm 23
please
come in
my skin
or
touch
my flesh
with
your best
yeah
put my body
into
some
naughty rest
yeah
make me feel
real
blessed
yes
i must confess
that
my insides
can
no longer
hide
destess
god
fridays are
so freakin' hard
for me
yeah
'cause i so
wannabe
romantically
involve
yeah
i wanna
do it all
yeah
get the calls
get the dates
and
the sex
on the plate
yeah
i can't wait
but boy,
how i hate
this single state
now could this be
the last of me
on Earth
now only
God knows first
yeah if this is
my last verse
unrehearsed
yeah my last wonder
of thunder
under
the surface
of
my purpose
or
my palsy
yeah should
my last statement
be real good
and
ballsy
I've been in love
a time or two
yeah
but only GOD
really knows
with who
yeah
it's true
and
my heart is
still blue
because
they love
wasn't the same
and
my last name
has never changed
and dang
i blame
this singleness
and
the reason
for me
feeling pissed
on
my cerebral palsy frame
mane
every time
i rhyme
the sun shines
yeah
with every verse
i break
every curse
that's been rehearsed
over my shoulder
yeah
in the eyes of
the boulder
my pouts
are welcome
to come out
yeah even
in a shout
or
a rant
my thoughts
turn into
a beautiful plant
with a slant
mmm
something to consider
i am no quitter
or
just a random pick
of
the litter
and man
I'm sick of
the lack of
romantic love
yeah
where's my
turtle doves
or
my crown
down
here
yeah
to make up for
all of
the tears
i have endured
over the years
and through
the woods
and oftentimes
not feelings
so good
with what
i'm dealing
with
in my heart
in my mind
or
in my rhymes
inspired by my life and The Book of Job
I was chosen by the most high so even if I Cry with every try my reason for being in this season will never die yeah this means that God dreams will always multiply yeah even if I'm not physically here anymore or I never get to walk through and Earthly door at my core I was made for More for sure
OOO
you
& me
was supposed
to be
like love
& basketball
was
at the end
or
at least
at peace
with being
best friend
with no
sexual
sin
BUT NO\
you had to go
and get on
drugs
and now
WOW
just thought of
you
and things
you are
putting
your earthly wings
through...
MAN
my eyes
need plugs
to hold
all of
the tears
and wasted
years
of
gifts
and talents
taken for
granted
that you
could
give
and do
good
on this planet
a human
have over
200 bones
by why
do i
still feel
really alone
yeah
like i don't
belong
or
have an earthly
or
a heavenly home
to go to
when i''m feelin'
blue
or goin' through
the su'
of
depression
yeah
the ongoing
life lesson
that has me
sittin' here stressin'
while still waitin'
on a blessin'
as a child
of God
God
please help me
turn the page
off this rage
and
stop letting
this cerebral palsy
situation
take center stage
yes Lord
i so need
a break
from this heartache
or
this handicap crap
or
this slap
in the face
or
this bitter taste
in the mouth
for this girl
down south
that feels
like a real louse
sometimes
but then
here comes
a friend
or
my electronic pen
or
my rhymes
from the wind
i got a call
but i don't know all
that it holds
yeah
there are some secrets
that are still
yet to be told
yeah
just hidden
in God's heart gold
yeah
the one
who made my mold
from top to bottom
and then
dropped me
on Earth
on a cold autumn day
but with the gift
to uplift
with wordplay
yeah
come what may
blue or grey
i will be okay
as long as
stay
by the phone
father come here
and whisper
something
so clear
that the deers
would mistake
my intake
as water
yeah
please
download
to your
daughter
yeah
help me
drink
from your
sink
and
tell me
exactly
what you think
yeah without a blinl
in sight
yeah please
let me
that it so
gonna be
alright
so i
exist
for
much more
than
to shi*t
and to pi$$
yes i am
on God's list
of z beautiful mist
in the air
yeah
and I'm
much more
than your idea
of
an eyesore
with long hair
yeah
my core
is
love
my core
is
care
yeah
this i
swear
but it's fine
that you don't like
wiping my behind
but you could
at least be kind
until
my wheels
rest in peace
i
MAN
you look good
in the skin
that you are in
how does the wind?
feel for real
yeah
in the still
of the night
i wish
that you would
gimme a kiss
that sends me
oooowee
into
total bliss
baby
but do you think?
i look good
in the neck
of the wood
or
naked in my frame
in Jesus name
God
why
must i
only have
laughs
and thoughts
yeah
no try
no guy
no actions
yeah
no sexual satisfaction
yeah
what happened
to my chance
at romance
i mean
don't i
deserve
to
scream
for joy
about my dreams
and prance around
on this earthly ground
yeah Lord
can i be found
i'm listening to
Maxwell
on Spotify
wishing u
would
stop by
and do more
than
just walkthrough
my door
and say hi
yeah
i wish
your body
would kiss
me
real good
and stay
all the way
'till the next day
yeah
just love
all of
my nightmares
away
yeah
make
my bellyache
go
from darkness
and hardness
to a beautiful glow
that only
the lonely
understands
man
WOW
i am
a poster child
for
C.P.
but i don't wanna be
but the almighty
choice me
yeah i was
picked
off of
the heavenly family tree
yeah
to live earthly
and honest
yeah
to be
in his (will. wheel)
and be healed
in his promised paradise
yeah
here i stand
in his plan
for you
not so nice
people
yeah
yeah y'all
in and out
the steeple
MAN
i can't
really walk
or run
but that
doesn't mean
i don't wanna
sexually scream
or
someone
to eat my plum
yeah
to make me cum
like
some hot buttered rum
we are eve
we are adam
yeah i know
we can't even
phantom
being apart
of
a heart
and
a rip
yeah
you and i
without a try
have first dibs
on heaven and earthly
cribs
yeah
all of our real estate
is
meant to be
great
and
our plates
are
meant to be
full
of
meals
for real
i wanna be
more
like Jesus
yeah
holy
solely
not moldy
or
scolding
or
controlling
yeah
just lovey dovey
in a covey
still waiting
on a hubby
as a human
yeah
while doing
the works of ...
God's child
yeah
mile after mile
and
smile after smile
MAN
people don't understand
just how much
God's hand
is
on me too
yeah and
that's why
i cry '
mist blue
yeah because
of
you people
and your
lack of love
yeah
the ones
who claim
to be
from the steeple
in Jesus name
yeah are
the ones
by far
who inflicted
the most pain
yeah
what a shame
TRUST
i have many
lustful thoughts
that make me wanna
you know what?
bust a nut
BUT
Christ says
cut that out
but LORD
i so wanna
SHOUT
for joy
with an adult boy
yeah
no need for toys
just us
and love
and
no need
for gloves
just my last name
to change
for a real ....
sexual excchange
God
i still wish
for a romantic kiss
when will i stop?
wanting this
to exist
yeah
lip to lip
or
some tougne tip slip
dipped in love
and passion
yeah
no need
for speed
or ration
No,and
brcause i have
been wating
and intisapating
with laughs
while trying
to grssp
why a guy?
won't reply
and
why do i? Constantly cry at age 45 I'm alive but I feel so dead not being w e d or nobody in my bed
trust
the hue
on all of us
is
airbrushed
yeah
i swear
that even
the color
of
our hair
is
supposed to be,,,
there
or
that way
yeah
no wordplay
so embrace
the grey
on your face
that was...
placed
by grace
and not for...
race
MAN
i have already
been through
hell
with being
handicapped
so
i don't need
your added-on
crap
yeah
to make
my heart
break
or
my lungs
to
collapse
Jesus Christ
why
do i
keep seein'
caskets
yeah
why
does life
have to be
so drastic
yeah man
i understand
that people
aren't made of...
plastic
but yet and still
why are we allowed
to feel
real...
feelings
and have...
laughs
and dealings
only
to be
left
with
no breath
or
just friendless
yeah
all by ourselves
HEY
it is
never okay
to sin
or
go against
the wind
yeah
never matter
how
good
the trill
feels
fo' real
we still
have to control
our...
sex-appeal
God
i don't wanna die younger
no, i wanna die old
yeah, so please protect
my spirit
and save my soul
from the hot
and cold
of
Earth's fools gold
yeah
don't let it mold me
into something
i wasn't meant to be
yeah
don't let my clock...
stop
or me
to get knocked
off the...
family tree
Daddy
God
i wonder
if you never
lift
me
out of
this body
and make me
a walking hottie
will i still?
yearn to be
a normal naughty
woman
wanting to do
something
sweet
between
the sheets
with a king
of course
with me as
his queen
making him
sing and bring
with no
divorce
and
no remorse
God
i still
don't fully
understand
you will
but
i know
that it's not
run-of the- mill
trill
but i feel
like a fish
with no gills
yeah
just
drowning
in a sea of tears
while still
trying to smile
and face
my fears
grace
but
why?
does the water
have to taste
so freaky
bad
in this place
Heavenly Dad
yeah.
in Jesus Name
why?
must i
continuously
go through
pain
yeah God
what is?
the end-game
God
i wanna swim
in your hymns
and float
in your spiritual boat
and in your favor
Savior
now
and later
without coat
yeah i wanna be
remote
and filled
with
your will
and hope
yeah i wanna be
more
than just
a fixture
or
a picture
of
you
on the shore
yeah
i wanna
do
or
go through
the truth
as proof
that you are
no goof
or ruse
Lord
you see me
going through
the motions
bur i feel
like I'm really
drowning in the ocean
yeah Yeshua
i really need
a potion
or
some lotion
or
a notion
i
will
be
heavily compensated
for my try
before i die
yeah Father
please
reply
to
my spiritual knees
MAN
it's a shame
that people think...
that it's okay
to call me
out of name
shrink me down
to the ground
with their...
verbal pounds
yeah
when i already
in so much pain
about...
my physical frame
but
do they?
apologize
NO
even with...
tears in my eyes
as big as figs
or
mud pies
Man
today i learned
that your stomach
can really burn
and turn
like the world
yeah when i heard
those words
spoke
my heart broke
and my throat
chocked
because
i loved
the person
i thought of
like a dove
only to find
out
they are not
so kind
yeah
i was blind
and now wow
my mind
is
blown
yeah
i feel real
wrong
thinking they were...
a clone
of Christ
or
a picture of paradise
MAN
today is Sunday
but it feels like Monday
but what does that mean?
man
I'm so in-between
i wanna screen
but i still dream
of
any tomorrow
that comes my way
and
I'm very thankful
for today
yeah
the sunshine
the thoughts in my mind
and
the fine line
that is kind of...
blue and gray
what day is this?
it doesn't matter
i still exist
and the world
didn't shatter
so yeah
I'm in the latter
of the chatter
or
the noise
and i still
can hear
the will of God's voice
and choice
to have me be
so poetically free
yeah
key to key
pain to brain
yeah
when i write
i get excited
but
i feel wheel insane
behind the scenes
i
interally cry
and screem
because
i haven't
seen
many of dreams
come true
yeah like
layin'
next to
someone who
has made me
their boo
longterm
yeah
gimme that
heartburn
lesson learned
for a lifetime
with a glass of wine
and some sunshine
walking blind
with our cute
and kind
kids
yrah
i
can't die
until...
GOD'S WILL
replies
and
i can say
all the way
"LOOK WHAT GOD DID"