Father, help me
to feel again
and to be still
so I can heal
in this wheelchair
that seems so unfair
yeah, in this field of dreams
I wanna scream
but please help me
not to be
mean
or green
or to do anything
that is unclean
in Your eyes
yeah, help me
to realize
all of the lies
MAN
these nightmares
got my hairs
standing up
yeah,
wish me good luck
the next time
my mind
goes to sleep
deep
my body is weak
but Christ keeps
waking and shaking
me up
yeah, another morning
of yawning
and fear
is clear
near and dear
to my heart
BUT DAMN
I am
sleepy and scarred
in my head
some people
want me dead
yeah my blood that is red
to turn cold
yeah, based on their actions
it would bring them much satisfaction
if God would rest my soul
yeah, despite all the good I have done
some people wanna stop my clock
or rock my world
yeah, sadly it seems
some people
wanna kill more than, my dreams
and that really makes me
SCREAM
so lately
some people
have hurt me
greatly
but I still don't understand
why?
i' mean, I thought I was...
a nice female guy
bur as my soul cries
at the lies
that have been told
my body
will not go cold
until I grow old
thus says, Lord
who brought me aboard
this sinking ship
or this cerebral cruise
I will not sing the blues
yeah, because...
God still loves
and has good news
to tell
yeah, freshwater
from a well
so listen, Hun
your tongue
can hurt me
just as bad
as a gun
so just run
away
if you don't have...
anything nice to say
yeah, so don't sadden
or paint my sky gray
or try to send my life
back to Christ
yeah words slice
like a knife
on meat
so be sweet
or be gone
yeah, because ...
some words
are just...
wrong
hour 1: i see the sun
hour 2. i talk to You
hour 3: i talk to the inner me
hour 4: I yearn for more
doors and floors
to be open
or removed
yeah/ I yearn
for my turn
at the smooth
path
yeah, Father
make me laugh
as i grasp
The Good News
of You
Yes Lord
tell me what to do
Yeah, how should your child pursue?
while still here in the real world
hey Sue
I hate you
well, I hate
what you want the greats to do
yeah, which is...
turn their bodies ...
cold and blue
yeah, Sue
you want all our breaths
to experience death
yeah, you want all of us
trust in lust
and leave
our loves ones
to grieve
PLEASE. HELL NO
I WON'T GO
by the way... Sue is meant to be short for SUICIDE
look at me
i'm 43
and I'm all alone
yeah, no one is ringing my phone
and I'm home
so what's wrong with that?
well. I'm single
and i don't wanna be
yeah, i yearn to be a we
yeah, and grow a family tree
for the whole world to see
yeah, i yearn to be happy
on the inside
yeah, i yearn to have my turn
at being a bride
yeah, a Bonnie to a Clyde
yeah, i yearn to have
a romantic ride
on the outside
Heavenly Dad
i want to walk so bad
that it makes me sad
yeah, how can I
miss something
I never really had
yeah, it's such a drag
to be dragged
in the mud
or to drown
in a flood
for a physical reason
that has lasted 43 seasons
but whose counting?
I am
so why?
do i
keep on getting slammed
on these rocks
yeah, Savior
please do me a favor
and make it stop
and make me walk
on my own
yeah, don't make me feel
like i'm all alone
Man,
in the wilderness
i am pissed
but yet and still
God exists
like Exodus
yeah my point
is this:
I wish
my joints
were free
from slavery
yeah, I do.
yearn
for a key
to turn
this lock
before my he5rt
stops
yeah, I'm 43
by my...
Earthly Clock
but Christ
could knock
at any time
yeah, he could
pour out
my wine
and i would be...
fine
yeah, just as long
as i get to walk
to Heaven strong
God,
what is my chore?
yeah, Father,
where is the door?
or the floor
to serve you
yeah, please help me
push through
your view
of new
testaments
yeah, no accidents
on your watch
or on your clock
yeah, only you
can really say "STOP"
today
or tomorrow
yeah, because
everything
with Love
is
borrowed
yeah, my time
my mind
my body
my soul
so Savior,
what's the goal?
God,
what is your purpose?
for my life
yeah, slice by slice
yeah, no roll of the dice
just tell me
please don't fail me
on the road
yeah, Lord,
I don't wanna be...
toad
and will you?
lighten my load
yeah, before you
give me the code
to the Kingdom
or before
you come back
yeah, just like...
that
Wisdom
i seek you
through it all
yeah, so i won't fall
or fail
yeah, i so yearn
to do well
on Earth
yeah, my birth
was first
but growth
should be next
yeah, however complex
please Wisdom,
help me flex
my insides
for this ride
to righteousness
yeah, in Jesus Name
I surrender
with no shame
Amen
you saw that things weren't right
but you didn't run
no, you enter
the fight
and tried to take it
to new heights
yeah, day and night
you spoke out
with a shout
of love and equity
yeah, communities
where changed
because of ...
your frame
yeah, your pain
yeah, your breath
and your death
so self to self
I thank you
for pushing through
the racist glue
yeah, to try to bring together
the brown and blue
BUT GOD
HAD ALREADY
CHOSE YOU X 2
Father,
i
testify
that i do
want to know why
cerebral palsy
is
so ballsy
I'm my body
no. I'm not being naughty
or
a hothead
but why?
can't I
get myself
out of bed
yeah, when i have breath
I'm not dead
and Your blood
is still
real red
once i was a kid
and i did some silly
things
but now I am a woman
who wants a wedding ring
yeah a king
and a carriage
inside of a loving
marriage
yeah, just once
I would like
to not feel like a dunce
yeah, just because I am...
physically disable
yeah, especially since
my mental table
is
so
strong
yeah, right or wrong
yeah, even if I don't
live long
I want to give
tying the knot
a real hotshot
MAN
kiss me once
kiss me twice
yeah, make me your girlfriend
make me your wife
yeah, show me Earth
show me Paradise
yeah, the sugar and the spice
of
life
+
yeah. the you
and me
that is we
and us
on the cusp
of Christ
i call on Jesus
because he truly
loves me
intimately
yeah, with clothes on
or clothes off
his touch is...
always soft
and I sometimes
get loss
in his voice
yeah, even with all the...
worldly noise
my first choice
is
to call him
before my light
gets dim
and I can no longer...
swim
to safety ...
in my soul
i sit in a chair for hours
but yet, and still...
my spirit has real...
power
yeah, a real...
shower of the savior's favor
on me
yo, if only y'all could see
pass my disability
but then again,
God's light
is..
so bright
so in my mind
y'all must be blind
because my spirit
and heart
are both
fine pieces of art
Father,
i'm woke
because you poked
my pulse
yeah, the uttermost boss
did not let me get lost
last night
yeah, I woke up
to see
the morning light
in front of me
so all is
bright and right
in God's sight
so it is
in mine too
yeah, I see
purple and blue
in my view
Father
do i bother?
the harbors of Heaven
yeah, this is something I wonder
24/7
365
yes, Lord
why am I?
really alive \
yeah, are books
really the honey
to my beehive?
yeah, because I ...
thrive and thrive
and my money
is
still funny
but I'm not laughing
so Christ
are you still?
crafting my life
into pardise
Father
am i to old?
to look for gold
or to dig?
for diamonds
yeah, like a kid
who needs refining
or shining
here and there
yeah, I really care
to know
yeah, so I can grow
or before I have to go
see you in person
yeah, but despite
my emotional
hurt
I desire
to still
work
Your Will
Food.
i don't need you
to really get through
this world
no, this daughter of a girl
only really needs
water
to feed on
yeah, right or wrong
my spirit man's song
is
to shout
and to do without
yeah, for a long
period of time
yeah, no meats
no sweets
or no wine
with lime
but rain
or come shine
it is really
fasting time
yeah, most days
graze graze graze
here HE is
yeah, in me
and in you
and in a sky
so blue
and in a baby
so new
goo goo
gaga
yeah, i love my
HEAVENLY POPA
and here HE is
in man
and in the writing
in the sand
yeah, our hands
and feet
are complete
because of...
HIS sweet
deep
love
MAN
my insides
hold so much pride
yeah, I need to push it aside
and just tide
with GOD
yeah life is hard
but my guard
should always be down
when HE is around
this clown
with tears
and fears
and years
of
the lack of romantic love
but that's neither here nor
yeah, because GOD
has been more than fair
to me
yeah, even if
my insides
can not see
where HE be...
MAN
i yearn
to get naked again
yeah, to feel the wind
and the sun
on my skin
yeah, with no sin
or no pretend
yeah, just the kinship
of God
yeah, where life was not
hard for a wife
or a woman
yeah, we meant something
good
and stood
for it
soaking wet
with no sweat
yeah, sunrise
sunset
God,
you serve
me
words
and proverbs
yeah, actions
of satisfaction
yeah, guaranteed
love
from up above
yeah, sometimes
like a dove
or a lion
yeah, like a ball
you be flying
towards the future
and hoping...
that you will see
there
so it's almost bedtime
so i guess, I will write a rhyme
to try to define
what is really on my mind
yeah, no sunshine
makes me sad
yeah, no sunlight
gives me fright
at night
yeah, because
I have no love
to speak of
and hold me tight
but...
morning will come
yeah, there is still a dawn
yeah, even if
the darkness
does shift
or
no one comes
to lift my head
from my bed
yeah, as long as I'm alive
and not dead
and my blood
is still moving
like a flood
this here child
can still smile
for a little while
longer
wow.
these thoughts
have made me
stronger
Popa
what is your plan?
mine is to stand
and to walk
all over this land
yes, Father, please say I can
or that I will
yes, Lord, I'm tired of being still
or disable
so yeah, please remove this heavy table
and chair
yeah so, I can really go somewhere
yeah, here and there
without a care
in the would
yeah, Heavenly Daddy
please help your girl
twirl
like a pearl
oyster's mouth
yeah, north and south
please get me out of this house
yeah, in Jesus Name
no more pain
no more shame
Amen
