BREAKOUT STAR

i really wanna yell
but i'm in jail
tonight
yeah i just don't feel right
because i can't take flight
or go to places i like
by myself
but my breath still works
and my heart still hurts
because i'm in here
yeah in this body
in this apartment
and in this garment
of guilt
yeah i wish i was treated like silk
looked at as pretty
not silly
yeah not looked at....
as a burden
stuck behind a curtain
or bars that look like walls
and bathroom stall....
that look like long halls
because i need help to go
oh no
i just told something so true to you
but i don't feel blue
no, in fact i feel very free
yeah listen to me
poetry is the key
that unlocks me
from this wheelchair
i swear

1 P.M.

to openly hold your hand
i don't know if it is God's plan
but i do understand
that it is what i want
yeah even if i don't
get to
be with you
in the blue
sunny sun
yeah because i know that you are the one
yeah not just the one
that i have done some fun stuff with
yeah you lit a switch in me
that oooowee
i wouldn't care if the whole world see
yeah seriously
i am into you
through and through
yeah i wanna bask in your view
like all is new
but also familiar
yeah you are like sliver
yeah raw, fair and strong
yeah right or wrong
you belong
somewhere
in my life
i swear

2 A.M.

i hear thunder and lightening
it's kinda exciting
but i wanna go back to sleep
yeah i wanna go deep
so i can reach for God
in my dreams
yeah if i start to scream
yeah i mean, i want my daddy
that had me
on his mind
a longtime ago
yeah my blood-flow
he so knows
all of my grows
and woes
but i still pose
this question
why such an early lesson?
yeah 2 a.m.
the sky is still dim
and i can't take a midnight swim
because it's to cold
and i'm disable
physically
so Father please help me understand
your insomnia plan
so i can...
go back to sleep
yeah "this sheep" can't count itself

THE REST OF MY YEARS

so as i sit here in this chair
i think about how life isn't fair
but i still care
and will to make things better
yeah in this crazy weather
i will never give up
or just leave it up to luck
no because the Lord knows just where to go
yeah and how to make me grow
beautiful ans patient
yeah wise and ancient
or really old
and more precious than gold
yeah, and that really warms my soul
yeah i feel whole
not being in control
of everything
this is happening
here
yeah even in my tears
of frustration and fears
I trust God with the rest of my years

NOT SO FREAKY FRIDAY

my flesh is so much more than sex
my flesh is so much more than my feelings
dealing with a disability
that is not my fault
yeah my cerebral got caught
in a bag of tricks and treats
yeah some pretty sweet meat
that will bleed for real
if you cut deep
yeah i can't sleep
thinking about that
but i can't take my life back
because Christ picked up my slack
yeah before i was even born
yeah he was fully warm
and ready to perform on the cross
yeah he did it to save the lost
sheep
yeah the weak
yeah the so called freak
that wasn't so neat
and clean
but yet he saw a queen
on a very mean and scary Friday
i must say

OVERSHADOWING

man, sometimes i sob
because i feel like i have robbed
yeah robbed of my rights
and God's light
but guess what?
that's just my natural eyesight
playing a sick joke on me
yeah because God is love
and sees supernaturally better
so no kind of weather
can block his view
of me and you
but to boohoo is fine
yeah get it off your mind
and out of your heart
yeah so doubt cam depart
and your guard
can soften
more often
yeah because once a coffin
is in front
of what we want
it's all over

DEAD ROSES

my flesh loves to yell
so hell, here i come
i can't run from you
yeah even if i wanted to
so what's a girl to do?
sit still?
and do God's Will?
or take a pill
and hope that things will change?
in this place called "my body"
but it not just about being naughty
yeah, it's more about me being human
and me just thinking about doing
something
with someone
whom which
i have done something with
before
but i want more
and that door is close
i suppose?
but my thoughts
are still growing
like a rose
that will pose
at the place
where i will rest
i guess?

READING THE BIBLE

i am a goldsmith
yeah i am a goldmine
yeah i an considered
the pick of the litter
yeah very fine wine
from the vine of virtue
yeah i was born to help
not hurt you
yeah my view is beautiful
from head to toe
yeah from the ceiling
to the flo'
and did you know?
that my spirit glows
and can fly very high
yeah without actually...
touching the sky
but by and by
i will try
yeah until i die
on this earth
yeah i have...
so much worth
thirst
hunger
and wonder
but with God's help...
i will never go under

THINGS I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR

hay lady
i would never leave your side
that would be crazy
because i love you woman
and you're supposed to be my bride
and baby momma
with no drama
yeah so come here caramel skin
and be my best friend
to the end of earth
yeah because i know your birth
had worth
the first day i met you
yeah i couldn't forget you
yeah because the way you talk
made me feel like i could fly like a real hawk
and i don't care that you can't walk
yeah i swear i don't
but if you want to...
cool
i'll help you
yeah i'll help you crawl
yeah i help you do it all
if need
yeah you can honestly
lean on me, queen
yeah these are things
i would love to hear
on my ear

A REVELATION CONVERSATION

hey Alpha
hey Omega
i am open
to something greater
yeah every conversation that i have
i know that i must grab
some wisdom and some laughs
on Your behalf
yeah my life
is Your rice and beans
and You are King crab
fresh from the sea
and satisfy me totally
i'm not hungry
or lonely
whenever we are together
so please don't ever leave me
yeah keep on feeding me
and helping me see
who and what i'm suppose to be
in the earthly
and supernatural too
yeah i trust you

PURE PAIN

man, my hip is still hurts
on the left-side
but my poetry has no pride
but i'm sure you can tell
yeah it feels like nails
were shoved in my skin
when i wasn't looking
and went all the way in my bone
yeah it feels so wrong
but my tone
must remain the same
yeah even though my frame is...
in so much pain
i'm still here
yeah despite my inner tears
tomorrow will come
and the sun will shine
yeah even if my pain remains
God will gain
something out of this
pure pain
i'm sure

MY HONEY B.

okay so you breath
wants to time with someone else
and oh how that hurts
but i know that God is still at work
in our lives
and i do want you thrive
but i really do miss you in my hive
yeah you by my side makes sense
yeah i feel like it's no accident
but still somehow we went
our separate ways
or you left me
to be
whatever you are
wherever you are
with whoever you be with
and sh_t
that really stings
my queen
but above all things
i love you my friend
and i pray that one day
that we will hangout
again

FATHER I FORGIVE THEM

Father, i forgive them
for not wanting to be
unified with me
yeah down to ride
by my side
yeah do or die
yeah cry or fly
together
but man
i guess i never
forgave them
totally
yeah because my body killing me
or should i say really aching
yeah my bones feel like they're breaking
down
and maybe that's because i have internally frowning
on my so called that cast me to wind
and un-forgiveness is a sin
and obviously a pain
to one's veins
or insides
so don't hide
and shallow your pride
and go tell someone that hurt you
that you truly do wish them well

I TOO WEPT

God, please lessen pain
yeah please stop my inner rain
yeah because my outer frame is tired of faking
and my heart is breaking
from the a waking
of really no sleep
for weeks
or maybe years
man, my tears and fears
are really clouding my judgement
yeah because sometimes...
i wish i wasn't
but damn here i am
feeling like some pressed ham
dealing with all the dilemma
yeah in my core
yeah in my center
i was born to be winner
but i feel like a real loser
so Father please help
in depth
because i too wept
in Jesus's name

BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER

my body hurts
but i still have to work
the will of God's word
yeah i am his bird
and he is my sky
yeah we both stay high
no lie
just look up
and listen long
yeah both of our voices
are strong
but don't get me wrong
his is much stronger
and his touch is more tender
yeah he is breakfast, lunch, and dinner
but we are both winners

HUMAN GOLD

man, i don't understand pain
i don't understand rain
i don't understand shame
life is not a game
yeah it's as serious as the disable fame
or the negative label
that others put on my time table
man, i'm able to do a lot things
dispute my broken wings
i should be treated like female king \
yeah dispute my needs
i can still feed your soul
yeah damn i am human gold